www.MethowValley.org-2021

[PAL]

"TraciHa wrote: ↑Sun Oct 17, 2021 8:43 pm
Geez..my epilepsy setting off..whats w all the nuclear button stuff?"

Pardon me, I still don't know how to highlight.
Traci, start with page one of Tristan's post.
Try not to look at the nuclear button, if it's distracting.
Pearl

[tristanbgilb]

Geez..my epilepsy setting off..whats w all the nuclear button stuff?

Thats kind of what comes to mind. apploration being not a real word. sort of applying and admiration slurred together. i have schizophrenia and trip in my head and it shows in my self expression. i surely mean no harm to ones sensitive to abstract flashing images making really no sense to the cognitive mind. not sure of the medical danger only found irritation to some. i had access to secure positions in the military where i might have been able to cause a nuclear bang converting matter into tremendous amounts of energy. E=MC^2 is the famous Einstein equation. only now i am far away from the nuclear world of mathematics and cautiously boiling water to power the ship. i am still kind of fascinated by the math of it all but i don't miss the stress of it all one bit. now i just have this flashing animation that is fun for me to hit anytime i feel stressed or just want to hit one nuclear button. its just a personal joke between me and god. kind of hard to explain our relationship. sometimes we laugh together. other times he will let me cry. to continue to explain the button.. donald trump.. its about guns. its about underage alchohol. the power of one low ranking nuke. i was thinking about my movie. like Jim Morison. he got a movie. i am preparing a movie conversion of my current character. tristan the man with a plan ...i don't have much of a plan. but i am to be tristan by my mothers whisper. i remember the doctor telling the judge that i am only qualified to be a nuclear reactor operator and that i am the last person on the planet he wishes to be one. i might agree that i wouldn't do it for no reason. i lived a life of a tramp after i discovered the nuclear button. numbed it with alchohol.. part of my insides the very center of my being hurt so bad with the report of the death of a girl who was my high school crush. i went to visit the command masterchief the highest non officer on the ship. he got me an appointment to see the chaplain. the chaplain sent me to the ships doctor he found me stressed out with high blood pressure and an alcohol problem. any way i am not allowed around nuclear reactors anymore. so now i just have this fake nuclear button that pressing does no real harm to the universe or mankind in any way that i have been able to determine. thanks for your input.

[TraciHa]

Geez..my epilepsy setting off..whats w all the nuclear button stuff?

[tristanbgilb]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK1_5LYyRMU
there was frank austin. buttermilk creek corner known as disfunction junction. here I learned a life of tooling around and drinking and smoking and partying til the day is over. i am not saying i wasn't already good at these things but here at buttermilk i fine tuned it all to a good life. when i first met frank he told me to get some clothes on or he would kick my arse. seemed like a reasonable request. he became our hillbilly mountain man pappy. harvey, frank's boy is kind to all. injun halfbreed or more. i can remember when he took me into his care. he caught me fighting the dogs over the deer bones frank was feeding them. i was hungry and chewing grissle off the bones like a wild wolf. these were the days before the foodbank in twisp 1-4 pm thursdays when glen will make sure the valley is fed. there are so many heroes and angels i have encountered in life. then i jumped in the river through the ice near war creek. it was cold. i walked with frozen stiff clothes down twisp river road. i wasn't thinking about dying. it didn't occur to me that it was so dangerous. i was trying to clear my mind and wash evil spirits down the river. frank and terry saved me as they drove by and discovered me. frank says "you can get hypothermia doing things like that". I replied "I have hypothermia but i am alright". frank thawed me out in hot water in his bathtub. i remember the pain of coming back to life. so many angels.. frank is one.

[tristanbgilb]

i never did learn to go wild like the bear in the wilderness. instead i made good friends and my wandering need for isolation became less and less. i still spend lots of time alone but people are never far. in the wilderness i was alone with just me and god who never has given up on me. .. i am the type who is more lonely in a shopping mall than up at north lake on a good kind weather day. so I found this valley of misfits and they adopted me with all the kindness and love of blood family. kind of like a dirty dog, some say i clean up nicely...

[tristanbgilb]

Methow issues. We're together in this community.

I become a Methow Valley Resident by purchasing unbuildable beaver ponds on The Twisp River for about $15000 on an owner contract. I was a homeless veteran other than my parents always having an open door for times that got too tough or just for good family visits. It was getting tough and i had just agreed to receive a couple hundred dollars a month state welfare for bipolar schizophrenia. with land payments locked in i was free to spend my days learning to go wild into the wilderness at my door with the goal of someday leaving society completely behind. nettles grew abundantly in the swamp. spring brought tender shoots that I could roll in my palms to release the poisons before eating. abandoned apple trees along the twisp river made fall apples a huge part of my diet during autumn. wilderness survival became problematic with my unwanting to kill animals. i got in a vicious cycle of being captured in winter months and hospitalized in mental institutions for my safety and those around me.

[PAL]

Absolutely. Stable home, balance. Sometimes how?
Also, I am not a meat eater. However..I am a fish eater occasionally. No Doritos, although I used to crave corn chips on a mayonnaise sandwich.

Just learning that trees give off anti-oxidants and vitamin C. Could be one reason I'm so healthy physically; I walk in the woods alot. Helps the mental state too.

Methow issues. We're together in this community.

[tristanbgilb]

This is a great point you make. I wonder if they looked at themselves.

"They seem so serious presenting a case in not being too serious."

And
"life is good but indeed serious and not so."

Thanks for your insight.
Pearl

I am rastaman without king and with many prophets decrying the lack of religious freedom for all but those above persecution. it seems that captain crunch and crew are in charge of a military capable of destroying all life on earth. am i able to improve this situation. maybe for my kids. we live in the methow where we seem to have a reservation for hippies and alternatives to be not so serious together facing serious issues even in our tiny community. water. housing.. traffic.. homeless and hunger.. we have it all .. yet there seems room for happiness. for me happiness is a stable home for my family. those in the video not being serious is a source of happiness and achievement. in the end there has to be balance for my spirit to have satisfaction in the happiness. this comes from learning. many lessons are worth the pain of failure in order for greater success later.

[tristanbgilb]

sometimes it seems hippy has become a cuss word label in a society so anxious and categorize everything and everyone. i heard the hippy trippy folks are now alternatives. i am not really sure. anytime i try not to be trippy hippy it occurs to me i am tripping in my mind floating and flying and quite the day dreamer. i think cannabis will save us from this path of self destruction. i have not found many ills it will not cure. Surgeons have saved my life and pieced my broken body back together more than once. family practitioners have antibiotics a life saving medicine. people are not healthy and they turn to md poison giving away their thoughts and ability to govern their own health. the md treatment is so often toxic in an environment where the toxics are everywhere and the cause of the illness. meat is gross. it is dead animal. i like to fish. its meat and dead regardless of nirvana. how can it be wrong. i have lived an imperfect life. i have tested god in so many ways.. breaking most every commandment at one time or another hoping to do better in all ways. 10 commandments of moses summed up as two from jesus. love god... love the each other... love is the jesus teaching. he is a prophet to me. living all the same. there is a man a friend a real flesh human with jesus spirit and heart. he is different than me but i admire him as he scolds me for how awful i am. tough love is still love. its time to get tough sometimes. kids are soft hearted so easily bruised in spirit. yakama native elder encouraged me saying children turn out ok even after putting up with their parents learning curve. i don't smoke. i don't drink alcohol. i don't eat dead animals and creatures. its gross to eat the dead.. so closly related as cousins they scream in fear to be murdered for meat when few are hungry. and so many are starving in huge obese bulging bodies craving consuming calories rather than nutrition. poison in their arteries and mine wanting Doritos.

[PAL]

This is a great point you make. I wonder if they looked at themselves.

"They seem so serious presenting a case in not being too serious."

And
"life is good but indeed serious and not so."

Thanks for your insight.
Pearl

[tristanbgilb]

Hi Tristan,
I don't know you well, but I have a link of a video you might like, by an oldster, Alan Watts. He states, "Why Life Isn't Serious". The video goes on to explain what he means. It's not a long one. I'm not preaching or pushing. I just like the ideas that are presented and our human condition. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us14IH6pacg

Pearl

They seem so serious presenting a case in not being too serious. We are all on a spirit path. I remember mom telling me that life gets serious when a person has kids. Learning to take care of the animal my spirit possesses seems serious. Its a real responsibility taking care a your own body. i don't eat meat. i don't use tobacco. i use my body and keep it moving. i don't get flu shots. life is good but indeed serious and not so. I pray. life is prayer. prayer is serious. Humility is important. become a child heart and dwell with the holy spirit in your heart. my third eye is mostly blind. i have been aware of a person with an open crown chakra. i have only seen it once in a beautiful young woman in nuns clothing. i thought i might go blind she glowed so brightly. others near covered their eyes and avoided her. i looked with all my might willing to go bling to see such beauty. i felt evil melt from my soul in the presence of her glory.

[PAL]

Hi Tristan,
I don't know you well, but I have a link of a video you might like, by an oldster, Alan Watts. He states, "Why Life Isn't Serious". The video goes on to explain what he means. It's not a long one. I'm not preaching or pushing. I just like the ideas that are presented and our human condition. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us14IH6pacg

Pearl

[tristanbgilb]

through it all there is never a solution. only dilution... I am here but am not all I desire in all ways.
places of desperation
going places
sitting still
raining just a little. storms elsewhere ...
piggy market
piggy home
piggy beef
piggy gone
temperature
somethings on fire
the fire in my heart
left me alone
everything to start
on the red road to somewhere
red rum

[tristanbgilb]

I went to the Pacific Ocean and visited saltwater. The air and sand were wet and it rained. I think of the beautiful sea and how great it is and how great the mountains of snow capped rocks are here. Its all such a fine creation given to us by the one who created us as stewards of this planet we are to call home. Into this other thoughts are the wonderment of the sensation of the goddess given to man for love and appreciation. I am of the sort to not know only to give my thoughts of a nature of not knowing. Not knowing is not to perish but to simply not know. Those that know seem fooled by the many for what is thought is not known at all. It is thought and thoughts are simply the process of thinking and thinking is not knowing at ALL.
ALL is ALL KNOWING> . His words are truth and his majesty of evil are unknown to me for all has all and I am i and not ALL. I and i r d paradox. 4 sum 2 b able and not cain is quite unfamiliar in the world of military corporal punishment. I went in the military and learned all men have blood and sweat when cooked in the sun. some react violently to vaccine cocktails. I liked discipline only it was not for me. I liked the math. I liked the money. The military was a good time for me until the killing times happened. I didn't think much of war through training. Then we went to war and I was stubborn. I thought I could prepare to kill but I was unable. I am unable to kill the enemy without going animal blank in mind. I don't understand cold calculated killing or even meat eating of beef and deer or dead animals of any sort. I do know I can go killer blank in mind when cornered. fight or flight I think it must be. many people get through life never being cornered such. I have wandered around and found myself in places i shouldn't be like signing indentured service into the America land of the free. America has never been free to me. Maybe one month of freedom after high school graduation and then into the military. I thought I was free yet I wasn't 21 years and able to legally drink animal beer I was quite fond of. In the military we were warned we had no right to an opinion. yes sir no sir was the term and no excuse sir. I have few regrets. life is fair so far. I seem to get out what I put into it. never knowing only wondering why I want to know what is not to be known by me. there is a great god and we love him all ways not knowing how much he is deserving of all that he gives. we have taken our freedom for granted and no longer want to please him only please ourselves. the greed is never ending and the treachery is endless. I must hope that all that has endured will end in the land of the free but freedom to be whatever the spirit is is and is not and is can be. we shall together reach is can be. is can be is the ultimate truth of ALL there is. when all there is is unknown then unknown is all shall be. for ever and ever goes the paradox and then a leap of holy spirit to open the heart centered where it is known to be. with breath the sensation of the love of the holy spirit to share with the animal that hosts it and IT. I am it and IT. its back to the i and the I. I y i... y is and. I y I is a lye. it is i y I 4 thy so shy to tell the truth is not thy why. life is not so complicated with language blending as it does with communication spreading world language in video and internet and world communication. how does the story end.. we all know that. the bible tells us the story of it all. we just wonder what happens in between... is life just this dream and why so obscene. war is every where in the streets. i see the violence on the destitute that roam where I once lived. my home is here and the city is a lost zone of sickness. we have lost our cities. i saw it to be true. the foul stench the animalness of human without humanity. as the city crumbles its up to ourselves to love each other as commanded by the lord. I am for that is not me is there also. I am me and also free.

[tristanbgilb]

Not sure that it is OK to comment on this.
Perhaps it is like a diary?
I have e mailed you to ask about it.

I am willing to accept comments on this artist spot featuring my book "Freedom of Self Expression" and other books that I have published to share.

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